There’s a zombie in my garage

Posted on   December 13, 2015

Don Aslinger, a fellow Flying Irish Running Club member should have read the very first post of this blog.

(Photo by Benjamin Boldt)

In that post, I explained how zombies attempt to convert runners to their team, and how you can avoid it happening. Unfortunately, Don has become a victim.

Don is young, healthy, and a pretty fast runner. For him to fall prey means it could happen to anyone.

This is so sad because Don had an exciting career possibility—acting. This is true—I was watching TV one evening and a commercial came on, and Don was in it. He didn’t have a minor role—he was the featured character. In addition, he was in the below print ad.

Don was doing a late-night run, turned a corner and ran straight into a pack of waiting zombies. He fought viciously, but was subdued. His brain was quickly eaten.

There is one bright spot since Don’s zombie transition. Though it seemed his budding acting career was over, it so happens the Syfy channel films a zombie series in Spokane entitled   Z Nation. Don was hired as a zombie, and the show’s producers are very happy having an actor who doesn’t have to spend so much time in make-up.

Being a friend of Don, I took it upon myself to care for him and prevent him from attacking others. Don lives in my garage out back, and is always tethered with chains. Our relationship is similar to that of Shaun and Ed in the movie   Shaun of the Dead.

Zombies are easy to care for and sitting in a garage all day with nothing to do is not mind-numbing for Don. That’s understandable since Don no longer has a mind. However, on occasion I let some of his zombie friends come over for cards.

As well, I take Don to Flying Irish runs on Thursdays.

I keep Don tethered with a rope, and I use a club whenever he lunges at someone to remind him that Flying Irish runners are not dinner.

To prevent yourself from becoming a zombie, I very especially urge you to read the post,   Zombies vs. Runners.